Saturday, June 11, 2011

Day seven

Woke up with a sore throat, stuffy nose, achey head and a bit of general malaise. The banging outside, many people working on their crap cars and vans simultaneously, as with every morning, and vehicles going in and out of the garage, honking and sirening from 7am onwards may not have helped with the general crappy feeling I woke up with. Headaches appear to be a daily thing now. The first few days it was quite pronounced, but now it's a dull, background noise type of a headache. Maybe it's just my pillow, or rather, the lack thereof. Must now invest in a normal pillow, might work. Had a wonderful few days otherwise. There are some beginning physical changes. Plus I am getting somewhat used to the changed body odour now. Plus people are noticing changes in my energy field. It's strange that it is that palpable. I wouldn't have thought, but a friend of mine said that my energy was so much more peaceful than ever. And he's right: from the moment I've done my first shot a week ago, I felt such peace, no anxiety on any level. Just peaceful. I thought it was just me, but I read yesterday that the biological basis for gender identity "disorder" is quite well documented. Anne Vitale writes in her article "Current Thinking Regarding the Etiology of Gender Dysphoria":
Although the origins of being gender dysphoric can not yet be declared outright, there is a growing body of evidence that Gender Identity Disorder (GID) as described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (1994) is at least in part, the result of insufficient or inappropriate androgenization of the brain at a critical stage of embryonic development. As a result, the affected individual may be left with between a partial and a full sense of having a cross-sexed gender identity. It is this difference that may be the root cause behind an overwhelming need to transition. ...  " findings of somatostatin neuronal sex differences in the BSTc and its sex reversal in the transsexual brain clearly support the paradigm that in transsexuals sexual differentiation of the brain and genitals may go into opposite directions and point to a neurobiological basis of gender identity disorder." ...  In virtually every case in which the individual is truly transgendered, there is a marked sense of relief from anxiety. It is as if there are receptor sites in the brain of these individuals that are starved for the cross-sex hormones their body is otherwise unable to provide for them.
Got an email from my mother-in-law, lovely lady, wished me luck on my journey. Got tons of emails from friends, family, loved ones, former girlfriends and lovers, and people I had always felt a karmic connection with. Not many were surprised - which keeps surprising me. Well, except for my mother-in-law, of course.

put on a face

put on a face                      a brave face, a dead face put on a face and go. put on a face                       a kind face, a br...