Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 29

Overdue update on my process. Not much to report, really, except I've noticed that my voice is going down quite a bit in the last one week. I really noticed it in the podcast we did yesterday that was just uploaded. I like my voice in it, it's on its way to where I want it to be. Obviously a very welcome development, because I get "Akh aa" all the time, but people are confused a bit in a visibly unplesant way - "Uu, akh aa, bish ee, egch ee, eeeeee aaaaaa..." - as soon as I open my mouth. Other things: my piss is still rank. No matter how much water/herbal teas I drink. It's just rancid, that's all. Apparently very common indeed among transitioning men. I was also glad to know that I am not the only one who gagged at my own body odour and piss stench, and apparently my reaction might have something to do with the fact that I love women, their smell, their bodies, their soul, their everything, so I had very little, if I could help, with men throughout my life, except for feeling myself to be one. Or wanting to be one, since the time I knew I was actually physically a girl. Apart from that: I am doing some crunches in the mornings when I remember, maybe 2-3 times a week, but that's pretty much the extent of all exercise I've been upto. But I've noticed that some of my muscles where I am not training are coming on quite well. So I've decided to join a gym from tomorrow. Will just have to take things day by day. Which has been my goal lately, must take every day as it comes, step by step, day by day, breath by breath. Fluid retention: gone. Irritability, anger, emotional ups and downs: inexistent from day one of T. (I just remembered that the last statement is not completely true. Everytime I came in contact with someone, just one single person, there was anger, but so little compared to what used to flare up inside before). That's all for now.

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