Monday, August 1, 2011

Day 58

Nearly two months on the HRT already, about to go into the third month in a few days. No period in the second month - woot! Hopefully it'll stay this way. Certain people who were close continue to refer to me by female pronouns, etc. My policy from two weeks ago has been to maintain a considerable distance from those who do that, because that's a deliberate disrespect after they'd been asked time and again to please respect my claiming and affirming of my true identity, that of a man. The fact that they don't do that is indicative of their total disrespect and disregard, something I want to live without the rest of my life. Facial acne's reduced quite a lot since I started using the antibiotic anti-acne solution, Albiotin. My back's beginning to get some acne, I noticed, though. Although would that be due to the HRT, or the fact that I still do not have hot water (lying municipality, three of their deadlines came and went, today was their last one, and nada), so am not able to properly clean my skin. Headaches are nearly gone, except from time to time there are some headaches, not something too serious as to make me take pills for it. No more mood swings, in any shape or form, which goes on to confirm a hypothesis an online buddy and I had formulated about the biochemical reactions of our trans brains which go into a I-am-fucking-dying-here mode because of heightened female hormones from ovulation on, and which, as a result, often appears to - anecdotally, nothing in the way of clinical studies - cause severe cases of pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder in many transmen. I don't know too many cis women who have had PMS as severely as I had: for more than half of the month I was prone to incredible emotional swings, and incredible tension, which would be simply gone from the onset of the bleeding. And I truly noticed that only in the past 4-5, maybe 6-7 years. And yes, apparently a lot of transmen are diagnosed with the PMDD, a very severe form of PMS. Something to look for in your adolescent kids, parents: if your female-born child became extremely depressed about the onset of the first monthly bloods, and is from then on pretty much emotionally all over the place for half of the month, very boyish, talks about hating one's body and especially the bloods, very depressed about being in the wrong body, that is, a body that feels so totally alien to them, then bingo, you might have yourself a boy born in a girl's body. Still very tired and want to sleep through days, but haven't been able to do that. Some people don't recognise me on the phone anymore, in terms of voice changes. The voice drop will continue, theoretically, in the next one year still, so I hope I'll get a booming deep voice. Although that's really rare with transmen, from what I've been noticing from brothers around the world. And that's pretty much about it. Signing off.

1 comment:

Бусдын эрхэд халдсан утга агуулга бүхий комментуудыг хэвлэхгүй болно.

put on a face

put on a face                      a brave face, a dead face put on a face and go. put on a face                       a kind face, a br...