Friday, August 12, 2011

Letting go

I just came back from seeing a friend who saw me last a month into my transition. She said I'd changed appearance-wise. She could not pinpoint to what exactly had changed in me, but she said I had changed. There are a few obvious changes like my voice. A faint mustache that's not so faint anymore. She could not tell more, but I'll take her word for it, she has no reason to lie to me. She said a few words that I clang onto: it's time you lived for yourself. It's time you cared for yourself because with your transition, noone has your back but you. And a few faithful friends who will stay by your side. No matter what. She should know, she's been one of my best friends since I was 20. I told her I had decided to let go of the LGBT Centre, and all that it stood for because it was time to see it blossom independently. Your offspring is your offspring, but you don't cling to it, trying to vicariously avoid all its mistakes and missteps on its behalf. You try to guide your offspring, but if you fail in your trying to do so, you simply let them go. Letting go is what I am practising these days. Detachment. It's working. Letting go and being grateful for everything. Mid-May 2011 affirmed my fundamental trust in the universe. That everything is as it should be. That I am exactly where I was meant to be, no matter what. That everything is ALL RIGHT.

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