Friday, September 23, 2011

I am in no way, shape, or form scared or ashamed of your transition...

Just a quick, transition-related sharing, this time a truly upbeat one. Some of my exes have been quiet about my transition. Mostly because I have been waiting for a chance to see them face-to-face to share what's happening with their former lover, although I did email most of them. Obviously some of them must've been reading my blog because I got an email from an ex who still pops into my head from time to time, who, still, after so many years holds a special place in my heart. Many sweetest and also many best-forgotten memories are related to that one ex. I got an email from that ex a few minutes ago: "I am in no way, shape, or form scared or ashamed of the fact that you began your transition. I'm actually happy for you, in fact, proud of you because you, someone I'd loved so much at one time, are finally trying to become his true self." The words I so wanted to hear from yet another ex, but never did. The one who wrote always knew what and who I was. Deep down. Inside out. And wasn't ashamed of loving me. The only thing that did surpise me was that s/he also wants to transition. I guess we were fags, transfags, after all :p Two female-bodied, butch, genderqueer people in love, expressing their masculinity inside out, in their relationship as well as in daily life. It was way too much for some people who always did a double take on us and would eventually gather their guts to ask "So who gets to be on the top?" The answer was, still is, we both did.

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