I again saw them in my most vivid dream. She was someone I had loved for years from kind of afar, never having enough courage to tell her I loved her. Never wanting to tell her because I knew she just didn't feel about me the way I felt about her. I was asking her in my dream: "So all those years ago, did you know that I was desperately and miserably in love with you?" "Of course I knew. You couldn't be more blatant about it without telling me." "Is that why you were so kind to me?" "Yes, and no. You were my friend, first of all. And that you were in love with me, well, I couldn't really face it then, but I can, now." "Why now?" "Because I'm not ashamed of your love now."
Ask me about her now and I know very little. She has always been a privacy freak. I just know the surface facts of her life. Never shared those facts that my exes felt entitled to cram down my throat a month or two after the break-up about who they were with since we broke up, and even crying to me if their romance was not going the way they wanted. I don't think I'm still in love with her, no, how could it be, but something in my heart always yearns for her. One more love must be over, it's always then that my heart brings the memory of her back.