Thursday, October 6, 2011

The strangest of things... +

is that I'm willing to forgive some, but not others. I'm willing to forgive those who may not have been the best of friends, but I find I can't forgive those who were, or who turned out to have been only supposedly (I'm not sure of the grammatical correctness of what I just wrote, but hopefully it still conveys the meaning). I'm willing and able to forgive those who were not very close, but not those who were, supposedly. Trust is an issue I've had for the longest time. After many years I find that it's still an issue, perhaps, in more ways than I thought. Just a thought to begin my today's entry.

Today was a busy day. Finally did a couple of tasks that I had pending since the weekend that should've been done at the beginning of the week, but which I'd pissed away celebrating the birthday of a girl I fancy somewhat (which apparently I did something about on Monday afternoon - hip hip hurray for me, but poor, poor shocked girl), consequently jumping up and down, slipping, falling and hurting my elbow very badly. Trying to recover on Tuesday, no luck, only unbearable pain resulted from a day of lying around passing in and out of consciousness, or what felt like it, so had to finally brave the medical system today to make sure no bones were broken as the elbow hurt like hell and wouldn't bend fully or unbend. Nothing's broken, thankfully, just badly crushed nerves and muscles, frayed tendons, a surgeon informed me today upon examining my x-rays. A good lesson for me. Reminded me of the time I had to ferry an ex's friend across the city in a rush-hour traffic, in a taxi, to the trauma hospital thanks to a huge, deep gush on her buttock, from the lower back to upper hip, from a broken toilet. The trauma hospital people did such a bad job of cleaning the wound that it abcessed, and she had to ask a doctor friend to open the wound again in a few days, and apparently lots of pus leaked out, first and foremost. How she didn't die of that is beyond me. Thankfully it was only me jumping up and down outside on an unpaved road, very un-adviseable, now I know. The swelling's gone down substantially today, and my arm's been mostly strapped up today.

Today marked the beginning of my fifth month in HRT. I'm due for my next shot in 12 days. My belly's furry, my face's somewhat hairy enough to require a shaving every couple of days, my facial contour's changed provided my eyesight's still good, too, my voice's deepened, my moods are stable, happy stable, 90% of the time. What more could I possibly ask? Only further medical help when and where needed.

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