Tuesday, February 19, 2013

You're my queen to sacrifice


Me: alienated, downcast, lost for words, lost for the ways to express the zillion shades of my soul, drunk all the time -- on words, words to describe you. You: riding, flying, floating high, heady, purposeful, ignorant of the cruelty, your beauty of an awful infant the cruelty. Me: playing with the strings of your soul for I know it as much as my own, better than my own for its tiniest movements evoke the shadows of unfathomable colours, ancient sounds in me: you are the brilliant colours, the crystal music, the gentle rustle of autumn leaves, the surrender of sand to waves. But you: petulant, shut, stuck in your bubble of the familar, thus safe. But me: outrageously indignant of that tiny world of your self-imposed boundaries of the familiar, lost for words to break all that separates the real from the imagined, love from un-love, you from I. So you: soul-crippled, gimped, bitterly hemorraging, unaware of the violence you inflict upon the self. So me: lost, lost, lost for the nth time for words to make you see the violence you inflict on me, the tongue-tied, the broken-hearted, the un-winged... Letting go, letting be. Sacrificing once and for all. No more music, no more colours, no more rustle, no more surrender, no more love, no more hate, no more memories, no more dreams. No more you. No more I. Never us.

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