Sunday, February 16, 2014

debilism, imbecilism, idiotism

triple a

sometimes all you can do is breathe to not lose your head and smash everything you see to smithereens. sometimes all you can do is close your eyes and bite your tongue so hard that you taste the iron of your own blood, that bittersweet, warm taste of your constant companion of the first twenty years of your life that comforts you, lulls you, your wet, warm safety blanket. sometimes all you can do is touch and hope that the touch conveys everything you feel inside you: the love, the peace, the unconditional expanse of your heart that's theirs, at their disposal. sometimes all you can do is swear and scream and shout at the debilism, imbecilism and idiotism of people who think they know it all, felt it all and thus are superior, somehow, and thus impose. sometimes all you can do is cradle someone till their pain dissolves into broken sobs of disbelief. sometimes all you can do is trust, trust that they have not closed their hearts, but sometimes that's too much of a hope. sometimes all you can do is kiss the fingertips that are ready to write you off their existence for if they do, that will be a blessing in disguise as well as an undeserving curse. sometimes all you can do is sit alone, naked in the dark, shivering, shivering to your core and stare into darkness: you no longer know who or what you're supposed to be for love does not seem to be enough, never enough... neither are words. sometimes all you can do is cradle your head while you break down. sometimes all you can do is try to hold onto your own loneliness till it feels alright. till it feels alright. alright...

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