Tuesday, February 4, 2014

infinity

what makes us human beings? pain? suffering? love? losses? our parents who socialise us into the ideas and ideals of right and wrong? emotions? masks that most deem necessary to wear everyday? rejection of emotions in favour of reason? acceptance of suffering as a given background noise of our reality? what makes a human human? our pasts? our futures? our minute blunders that, in hindsight, prove to be humangous? our victories, however small, that live on in us and feed us when all we feel is nothingness? what makes a human human? the ability to forget the past that has not even become that? the ability to live in denial of all the wrongs and rights we have committed? the innate, perhaps, necessity to always search for the better and more? but what about real feelings underlying our every breath, should they be forgotten and skirted over and swept under the rug, too? what about losses we had never felt but which, of course, were inevitable down the line and thus we made our choices not to feel that loss by simply closing our hearts off? what about the reality of now and here and everything, EVERYTHING that it entails?!... ever again, am scratching my head in puzzlement. ever again, am here, in the middle of nowhere while emotions storm and make a pulp out of my poor, downtrodden soul. ever again, am looking at my life and going "pppffffffffffffftttttt". what makes a human human?... infinite questions that demand infinite answers, but none comes.

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