Saturday, March 29, 2014

bleeding days and months

the howl of the wind through the cracks of time singing a symphony of lost, invisible things that haunt, 
engravings of pain all too weathered, nonetheless real...

bleeding december. bleeding, blundering, confusing and confused january that resolved into a bleeding happy february, the true beginning. sometime in the last week of january i felt something that was about to happen: advent of a new era in my life that was going to be heralded by someone extraordinarily special walking in and taking their place and space in my life for good. which happened. who would have guessed that those bleeding happy days of the first days of the new year would die just as quickly as inexplicable bubbles of existential delight popping out of the mar of ordinary to fill my world with hitherto unknown emotional landscapes when i was plunged into a deep abyss of uncertainty and horror at the prospect of possibly having to battle something that i never thought i would have to battle in the first place. and on and on and on and on it went: the uncertainty of the circumstances, the uncertainty of reciprocity, the uncertainty of next steps, mutual inability, mutual disability, mutual muteness and deafness... bleeding, bleeding, dying march... the dying march when those days of february i held onto as the happiest but also most painful memories, the days that committed suicide just like those invisible letters of ashes on the staircase, the steam-writing on the windowpane, meanings lost in time, meanings denied, meanings meaning nothing at the end of the day. bleeding, bleeding, bleeding march, be gone. come april, come may, come june, come july, come august!... where will i be travelling then in terms of the realm of senses and thoughts? hopefully not in this bleeding, bleeding, bleeding bath of nothingness and pain of absence.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Бусдын эрхэд халдсан утга агуулга бүхий комментуудыг хэвлэхгүй болно.

put on a face

put on a face                      a brave face, a dead face put on a face and go. put on a face                       a kind face, a br...