Tuesday, April 29, 2014

a baby

is the painting i bought today from Alimaa Choijil, the third of all paintings i kinda bought this year. bought a few paintings in my lifetime, but they never stayed with me: the eternal nomad, i left them all around the places i'd been to. never wanted to keep things. people - yes, but things, even the expressions of beauty - never. that's why it'd been so easy to part with my books - imagine, me, the lover par excellance of the written word, parting with books! it is a self-inflicted torture, always, if you ask me, but am exercising the art of detachment, remember - and paintings. this painting is different. it's not about delusion of self-grandeur that many artists indulge in wholeheartedly. it's not about love, oh no, not even a whiff of it. it's not even about the beauty (although it is a beautiful painting). it's not about ethics. it's not about one thing whatsoever.

when a human baby is born, the world is full of possibilities: the path they'll live. the experiences they'll have. the beauty and pain they'll internalise for however long they will live. at the heart of it all, they're pure. so pure that often just looking at them makes me cry (yes, the eternal teardropper). purity of their path, the instinctual knowledge that they have everything ahead of them, the life in all its ugly and beautiful aspects, as well as the grey, touches me viscerally. never parented but i know i'd be a great father. never a mother. but this, the painting... this painting is about karma, life paths we have open in front of us as pure beings. because despite the karma, we're all pure at the time we're born. we're a visceral beauty incarnate of possibilities and probabilities that will take shape through our environment coupled with our genes. millions of lives lived in one life, millions of paths taken in just a single life, all thanks to the quantum theory: the universe breaking down and multiplying at neckbreak speed every time we make a decision. this painting depicts the beginning and the continuum of it all, which was why i had to get it. thank god people are stupid to not see the the things that really and truly matter. thank god people are blinded by their self-importance. thank god people are way too materialistic to appreciate the meaningful beauty when they come across one. had it not been for all this, i'd've never had this painting sitting across from my bed right now, months and months after i'd laid my eyes on it the first time falling in love with the conceptual, simple beauty of it, and remninding me that all is not lost, that i'm yet to keep making choices, that i am yet to surrender, that every turn i take a new path of life opens. blue, red, pink, purple...

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