Wednesday, April 16, 2014

rituals, peace, love

last night something happened. something ended. too much agony i've been going through broke the spell that's been tormenting me for the last four months. when i realised that, i calmly collected all my love back through a small energy ritual. i took my love back. i took it back into myself. when i did, i felt warm, happy and serene. i felt whole. my love, all those invisible threads of energy of mine that i had wrapped around someone for the last however many months, those threads that were dripping blood because of the cowardice and stupidity on their part, those diamond hard invisible tentacles were collected and taken back. they made me whole again. from last night, all they would've felt will be void where once something was alive, bubbling. i've been riding my serenity since last night, riding my peace that has long been absent since december. all i knew last night is that i could no longer suffer, that i had reached my breaking, tipping point of being happy in my frozen unhappiness, that i had reached the point of not caring, that with all said and done, they never really deserved my love from the beginning, that although i've been screaming with my mouth stitched tight by their cowardice and pettiness, they chose to walk away without even the decency of giving me a closure. that lack of decency killed me. that and the lies. the lies... all i know is i haven't run out of time yet, but i am, running out of time. three years ago i made a promise to myself that each and every moment i will live honouring the truth, the truth of my feelings. but i've been wasting my love, i know. no more. time to bask myself in the endless expanse of glorious warmth that my love is. when the time comes, someone truly deserving, truly courageous, truly honest and truly beautiful is to claim it. right now, i am serene to the point of euphoria. this euphoria will last. that i know. farewell.

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