Monday, June 23, 2014


the white-hot delirium that had been my life this past half a year is coming to an end. i am finally getting to breathe. to breathe, to let the air in and out of my lungs without shrill. to calm down, to let go. i was walking all around the small ring road and the 11th district area this morning hunting for my smokes, and while i was watching the overcast skies, the puddles, the passing people deep in their daily routines, overrun by their fears, worries, pasts and futures, i caught myself smiling, installed firmly in the present. out of the blue all i felt was the peace and joy of now, my legs that walk in a peculiar bow-legged fashion, my belly protruding above the belt, my leather bracelets swinging, riding up and down my wrists, my dreads, their pleasing comfort against my back and my shoulders. the fleeting feeling of the peaceful beauty that shall remain, if i let it be, as long as i let it flow. i enjoyed the minute caresses of the wind, the tiniest splashes of raindrops, the looks and expressions on people's faces. i was alive, i am alive. i am finally healing. agonising travels in my deepest mental hell are over. time to go over the other side. ah... solitary soul travels must continue without bitterness. forgiveness, above all else. closing chapters, concluding the storylines, passing on, leaving the past where it belongs with just one thing: gratitude. 

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