Monday, June 16, 2014

irreversible choices

i know you as much as you know yourself, maybe better. i know you're good. i know you're a scared little one. i know you've always made safe choices in life, choices that have somehow always left you wanting for more at the end of the day, but you never learnt to make other choices. i know you have walked the path of inner confusion of self-doubt, self-negation, self-hatred, pain for as long as you remembered, for those feelings echo in me, thankfully, they're nothing but just echoes for i've learnt to make other chocies of non-suffering. i know you're now happy, you've finally, finally, finally gave in to that safest choice. as days pass, you will realise that you're not as happy as you could be, but that's ok,  it will do for now, afterall, there is nothing but now, as i tried to teach you. i know we met for a reason. you don't know that reason, i do. i know why i met you, i know why you've fleeted around the edges of my life and left it without so much as a word of final truth. i know why you stayed in my life for as long as you stayed playing word and image games, for you are a kid, and it's your nature to play. i know you're just a scared little fragile bird with a lion heart, but still, a bird. i know your footprints that you will leave on this earth, make sure those are worthwhile, make sure you no longer harm people, or yourself, in the process. all those days and nights of finally glimpsing something true and gloriously shiny are gone: you've made your choice. it tore my soul for the past few days, but last night i finally could breathe with the deepest, saddest, but also happiest smile, for you. my final farewell words to you: learn self-respect. learn to love, to give, to sacrifice for the truth. only then will you finally reach your true potential of a giant. or, stay where you are, stay tiny little bird whose heart bursts with all the longing to be the giant bird. it is all about choices, afterall. goodbye, godspeed. love, always.

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