with my plans for the countryside weekend out of the window (can't completely blame mom for it was me who had been lying to her that i would make it there every bloody week for the past two weeks and more), i am looking at a quiet weekend with tons of shit to do, but i will do the work tomorrow, today i need to chillax and what better way to chillax than with great movies... since march, i've been working pretty much all weekends, except for saturdays. kept myself busy. kept my brains busy. kept my hands busy. but even with everything i've done to busy myself, i still found myself crawling. but that's like a whine that i've been emitting for the last however many months, and am sick of myself.
last night i watched Ma Vie En Rose for the first time. made me cry. all those torments gender-variant kids are forced to go through inflicted by friends, family, community, strangers, all that ridicule springing from the inability of people to see beyond what's apparent, beyond what's visual, beyond what is given as something permanent. ludovic: "To make a baby, parents play tic-tac-toe. When one wins, God sends Xs and Ys. XX for a girl, and XY for a boy. But my X for a girl fell in the trash, and I got a Y instead. See? A scientific error!" bloody chromosome errors (again, informed by the very karma/lessons you need to go through in life to become truly who and what we are, for sure, oh, but how painful!) that need to be corrected through a painful process of invasive procedures that could be avoided if the transition takes place early. made me think of someone, too... made me cry again.