Monday, October 6, 2014

falling...

falling... fearing the fall, but excited about the heady abandon of naked feelings if i only allow them to flow. breath held, all i am is acutely terrified of the sure pain that accompanied each of my falls last three years, yet inexplicably attracted, from the very first. falling... deeper, deeper into the eyes, the calm, the soul, the knowing innocence, the innocent knowledge, the beauty. falling... fearing the most possible and probable at this time eventuality: getting badly shattered, again. not wanting to jump. not wanting to risk, yet falling... not daring to make myself vulnerable again, but the moments of ease increasingly exchanged by awkwardness. falling...

shouldn't. can't. mustn't. not while my heart's still badly emaciated by the previous torture of nine and a half months.

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