Monday, November 30, 2015

a sad, sad world

i'd rather be dead than with my ex.

i'd rather be dead.

he thinks he had loved me without knowing me. but really that is not love, is it.

he thought of my every loving touch as oppressive. he saw every sex act of ours as rape, of me raping him. tell me, IS THAT LOVE?

of course, not.

LOVE IS NOT THIS.

i wish he would be fucking HONEST. tell me and the world what he went through and what he made me go through.

alas he's a fucking chickenshit and will remain so.

four days ago i heard for the first time something i'd known and felt for a long time, that all i did to make him happy sexually was RAPE. because all i did was to make him happy, which he took as OPPRESSIVE. he said the very thought of having sex with me oppressed him, disgusted him.  why was he with me, then?...

no.

no.

no.

no.

no.

never.

never again.

i'd rather be DEAD than with someone who thinks my every caress is violence.

and after a year, come to think of it, I AM DEAD.

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