Sunday, December 20, 2015

knock, knock

who's there?

your boyfriend. the one who took you, your love and devotion for granted for much too long. so long that you thought you'd rather be dead than with me.

who's there?

your boyfriend who wouldn't touch you nicely, privately or publicly for over a year. who claimed my sexuality through misrepresentation of you and your identity to people you will never meet or see. who never cared enough to look into your soul and see love that was giving up on the hope of being seen and reciprocated fully. the one who thought nothing of throwing misguided tantrums while it should've been you, all this while, to do that. who couldn't see you. who will never see you, but my own needs.

who's there?

you know, the one who slaps you so hard your head rings for days, and your lip bleeds. the one who always chose to be somewhere else with other people but you. the one who'd dance away with anyone but you. the one who was always embarrassed to be seen with you, or known to be with you. the one who always chose others, never you.

who's there?

your boyfriend. the one who refused to listen to you at your worst, loneliest moments. why were you lonely anyway? i was there, my physical presence should've been enough even if i didn't love you, or caress you, or make love to you as lovers should.

who's there?

your handsome, lithe, emotionally disabled boyfriend who only saw you as a convenience. i've come again to take what's mine: you shall open your door at 3am and let me in, and i will sleep and leave without a word. you are nothing to me, but a torso with a hole, a bleeding heart that always forgets yourself. i will take it and break it, again and again.

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