Friday, June 3, 2016

lucky, i am that

looking back on everything in my life, i am, ever again, consoled in the knowledge that everything was as it was supposed to be. that i was lucky. there were, surely, times i thought i was the unluckiest dude in the world, but those times were over twelve years ago.

even looking at my last relationship, i know i'm lucky despite the fact that there were so many misunderstandings, wilful and deliberate, towards the end, but accidental at the beginning. which were turned to the deliberate as things went south.

looking at myself, i have nothing to really be happy with, not with the state of matters right now where my boyfriend left me because he claimed he needed to figure things out and then turned out to be already dating others, in most probability his first love that turned out in mongolia suddenly. or that he is obviously dating more than one someone. regardless, i am still lucky. i could never be ungrateful for every bit of love i was given in my lifetime especially when i was dying for the lack of love.

lucky, i so am that.

can't wait till september so i can finally start putting together all my writing of the last however many years into two books. and my exes figure greatly in those. with all my love, even if it was misconstrued as lack thereof.

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