Wednesday, February 1, 2017

fucking bitch

stare at the tiny cobweb on the ceiling swaying lightly at the barrage of words from his mouth you're just a fucking bitch who used me i shake my head in exasperation close my eyes imagine myself back at the beach last december walking talking laughing stopping to look at a dead mucous-like jellyfish left behind by the tidal wave shuddering walking talking laughing kissing arms around each other nothing was as it seemed was it now no love is enough or strong to break through misperceptions people have of you or your love for them you're just a fucking bitch echoes from the corridor travels throughout this rickety old building neighbours waking up at 3am i can hear them can you you're just a fucking bitch lucy runs hides puts herself away from the non-stop noise pollution can i join you there in the closet is there space enough for me there you're just a fucking crazy bitch who can't even fuck i promised myself so many things where are they what am i how am i supposed to get up from this i protest meekly i search his face i see no mercy you're just a fucking dickhead bitch tears fall my head falls i can't get up or else i'll get what i deserve another ruptured eardrum i curl inside i wish i were invisible i wish i were not here i wish i did not feel this at 4am on a wednesday morning i choke back my pride my desire to see a void in the space he is beg him to stay the night he stomps off to the other room you're just a fucking bitch who deserves nothing yes i don't deserve anything certainly not this shaking pummelling of thousands strings vibrating till they burst you're just a fucking bitch torture me torture me torture me that's all i deserve but no buts that's all i deserve i am just a fucking bitch you're just a fucking bitch a woman is talking to death such a beautiful poem i read twenty years ago it tore into me words imprinted forever most beautiful poem that i began translating today you're just a fucking bitch but i can't finish it now can i how do you get up from this what will i do tomorrow the day after tomorrow a month or two from now burn my wheezing lungs drown my liver kidneys i want to be dead you're just a fucking bitch the velvety luxury of his fragrant skin burns in my memory slides collapses drowns what have i done to you you're just a fucking bitch have you done to me you're just a fucking whore colour me dead colour me gone



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